Weddings should be joyful, but they can also be stressful. Body Image, or how we feel and think about our appearance, can also cause stress.
No previous research had looked at the feelings of brides about their bodies in the UK. In order to fill this gap, conducted research on how brides feel about their body images in the lead-up to their marriage. From the planning stages to the wedding day, we focused on the brides’ concerns about their appearance and how they made them feel.
A total of 134 women participated in an online survey or a video interview. The women were a mixture of those planning their weddings as well as those who have been married within the last three years. Women often felt pressured and expected to look a particular way on their wedding days.
This article is a part of Quarter Life. It’s a series of articles about issues that affect those of us who are in our 20s and 30s. The challenges of starting a career, taking care of your mental health, and the excitement of having a child or adopting a pet are all part of the Quarter Life series. These articles explore questions and provide answers to help us navigate through this turbulent time in our lives.
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They felt that this pressure came from various sources, including family and friends. They told us that others’ perceptions of how they looked affected their feelings, both on the wedding day and afterward. One said:
You will feel more confident if you know that other people like you.
Another person told us:
I didn’t wish to be ashamed of myself. I knew it would get a lot of attention and comments. I didn’t want to let anyone down. There were many questions from women about my dress and appearance. It was as if my appearance was part of the decoration, just like the table settings or the order of service.
Women who spoke with us felt a need to conform to these expectations due to fear of judgment and the expectation that every bride should look beautiful.
Look back
Body image pressure was increased by the knowledge that wedding photos and videos would be a permanent record of their appearance. One person said:
I wanted to be able to see the photos and feel 100 percent comfortable with what I had seen.
Women we spoke with also felt pressure from the bridal industry, which perpetuates stereotypes about what brides should be like. One woman talked about her bad experience in a bridalwear store:
The ladies at the dress shop were very judgmental. They told me I should eat better and lose weight. I was, therefore, left feeling quite negative.
In preparation for their big day, nearly 70% of women who we spoke with were planning weddings planned to lose weight. Their feelings and emotions were affected by the pressure to lose weight. One person said:
I am worried that losing weight to prepare for my wedding could trigger my anorexia. I do not think anyone talks about the pressure brides and grooms are under.
Some women have reported that they went to extreme measures, such as surgery, to lose weight. In the lead-up to her wedding, one woman had a band fitted. This is a band that wraps around the stomach and limits its expansion. It makes you feel fuller sooner. One had a stomach tuck, a cosmetic surgery that improves the shape of the abdomen.
We spoke with women who talked about how important it was to have a record of their wedding. vectorfusionart/Shutterstock
Only 27% of the married women we spoke with had achieved the weight they wished to reach for their wedding. One woman said:
When I realized I would not achieve this weight, I became upset. The day of the wedding was fine. After seeing my photos, I was embarrassed and regretting getting married.
We confirm what researchers in other countries, including Australia or the US, have found. This research has brought to light the strong pressures on women to look good at weddings and to meet expectations.
It is natural to want to look good for your wedding, but you should also prioritize your health.
Be careful what you say to brides, especially if one of your family members or friends is getting married or you work in the wedding industry. Be careful not to add any expectations or pressures by making comments about their appearance at a time that can be stressful. The real essence of a wedding is joy and connection.
