As an American living in London and working as a wedding planner, I was obviously very excited about the Royal Wedding celebrations in the UK this past month! When I first moved to London, I noticed that there were a few things I wasn’t used to in the States. I got married here, and I also found out a lot of new customs. The groom faces the altar, and where are the cocktail parties before dinner? Forbes Magazine asked me a few weeks ago about my thoughts on the differences between US and UK weddings. The entire article can be read HERE. Here are some of my thoughts about a few. What did Meghan think about it? Did she notice the differences? Hers was a Royal affair, so her arrival at Windsor Castle was an entirely different experience!
If you are an American bride who is getting married in the UK, I would love to hear about your experiences and if some of the traditions are different. You are a UK bride who likes American traditions. Let me know, get in Touch!
What was the biggest surprise I had when planning an English wedding?
Evening Guests: I was surprised to see how many couples invited guests to their evening reception who were not asked to the ceremony or dinner. I initially thought that this was for couples who were on a budget, but it turns out that many couples will have evening guests. I’ve learned that many couples want their ceremony and main reception to be more intimate, with family and friends they know well, and in the evening, they create a more party-like atmosphere with newer friends they met at work or recently.
Wedding “Packages”- This is more common in the UK. My planning is not a package. I personalize every aspect of my client’s event, from the invitations to the drinks and the furniture that guests sit on. Even the uniforms for the wait staff are tailored. So often, I don’t think a caterer or venue package will work. In the States, I noticed that many brides wanted to customize everything. Create a special tablecloth for the dinner and name the drinks. You can also create a menu with items that are unique to the places you have visited together. In the six years that I’ve lived in London, this has changed a great deal in the UK. I’ve seen UK brides shift a lot. Blogs and magazines may influence this. People are becoming more individual and less like their sisters.
Ladies, don’t speak. In the States, it’s quite common for the maid-of-honor AND best man to make a speech. Here in the UK, it’s more common for the fathers and best men. Sorry, ladies. The speeches are usually more like a roast than a sentimental one, but they’re always different. I was thrilled to hear Meghan Markle give a brief speech at her wedding. If you wish, thank the guests for their participation in the wedding and say a couple of words.
Who is Paying– In the UK, it is quite common for the bride to pay for her bridal party’s dresses. This is not the case in the US.
Drinks – From my experience, I’ve found that it is very common in the States to have a cocktail hour prior to dinner. Actual cocktails are also served. Over the years, it has become very common to offer a few themed drinks with wine and sparkling water during the reception. In the UK, I’ve found that for the first half hour, only sparkling non-alcoholic beverages are served. No wine or beer. This is still the most common, even though it’s changing. The bar will be wine, beer, or sometimes cash. In the US, it’s quite common for couples to serve mixed drinks.
Where You Can Get Married In the US, you can have your wedding almost anywhere! If you see a beautiful field and would like to hold your wedding there, that’s great. In the UK, I was surprised at how strict the law is about where you can marry and whether it needs to be licensed. There are ways to get around this. Many couples choose to have a small ceremony at the registrar’s office and then exchange vows with guests in front of them on their wedding day. This is a wonderful way to say “I Do” with all your loved ones around.
UK Traditions I love!
Hats It is so common for UK women to wear fascinators and hats at weddings! The royal wedding guests fabulously embraced the style!
Length of Wedding I believe UK weddings are longer and more festive. In the UK, it is not uncommon to hold a wedding ceremony at Noon and then party until 2 am. In the US, ceremonies can start at 3 pm or even 4 pm, but the party ends at midnight.
Confetti – LOVE that the UK is known for showering newlyweds in confetti when they leave their wedding ceremony. It’s wild that there are dozens of shops selling ONLY wedding confetti. But I do love this tradition.
Garden weddings– I love it when couples say they’re having their reception at their parent’s garden. Imagine a small, cute garden in America. It’s intimate and lovely. It is usually in a LARGE marquee in the backyard of a beautiful English manor house. This is awesome!
The term “Wedding Breakfast”,
Wedding Breakfast. It was amazing how many clients requested to hold their wedding reception at breakfast. I thought a brunch reception was the most common idea. No. This was new to me. Even if the meal takes place in the evening, the term wedding breakfast is still appropriate. The term comes from the idea that the couple fasted before the wedding, and then the Wedding Breakfast was their first meal together.
The Cake
When I was planning my first wedding in London, I repeatedly asked the caterer for a small platter and two forks. I wondered why they found it so strange. In the UK, couples often just cut a small piece of cake and then eat it together.
When I asked for a box to store the top tier, they assumed that I wanted fruit cake, which is the custom here. It’s just sponge cake and icing, like the rest. Americans save the top layer for their first anniversary and keep it in the fridge for a whole year. It is not because we assume the cake will taste the same as when it was first eaten, but rather because of the tradition. The top tier of the cake in the UK is fruitcake, and it is eaten after the couple has their first child.
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We enjoy working with US brides and UK couples. Clients from all over the world are welcome. Get in Touch to discuss how we can incorporate your traditions into your wedding day, no matter where it is being celebrated. We are located in London, but we welcome travel to anywhere.
